31 Mar 2013

Fancy a Brazilian?

Now ladies, I wouldn't blame you for thinking I was on about that type of Brazilian... Anyone of those would surely brighten up a dull day?

Hot under the collar? Brazilian fashion model Isac Fioravante, photographed by Martin Traynor

But before some of you might be tempted to entertain Certificate 18 desires with the aforementioned, please allow me to clarify my thoughts on the subject. The type of Brazilian I am on about, although as likely to raise eyebrows as the hottie above, is more likely to be found in a beauty salon than on Praia de Ipanema... Get it? Oh yes!

And yes it is painful too. Rest assured, no hearts are broken over this one though, not even the bank, as you can expect on average to pay £20.00 for the service. Haha, no innuendoes please! How did I encounter my Brazilian (wax) experience? Well, this is mildly humorous actually and I thought this would be great blog post material! So here we go... (Don't worry, for the small print section, I shall be mindful of sensitivities and treat the subject with all due respect. Yet I shall not be held responsible for any innuendoes or unintentional puns and play on words, blink blink!).

For a few years now, I had been having a bikini wax everytime I went to the salon, as an extension of my leg session, and regardless of whether I was off to a beach holiday or not. I did it for myself, it's just the thing that finishes off your look, that makes you comfortable in your own skin. Thing is, a bikini wax is fairly conservative in its hair zipping method. You might wear that tanga on the day that gives you high leg definition and get the beautician to eradicate those sparse stragglers. Looking back, it was nothing earth-shattering although it did feel like it at the time!

Pict source: South Beach Swimsuits

Things started to change after my move from foggy Manchester to Corsica-on-the-Med, where my definition of bikini wax became slightly offcentre. The beautician would pull that brief up, get me to open my legs in earnest, because the likelihood is, living on an island with some of the hottest Summers in Europe, you are bound to nip down to the beach and expose some flesh, and you want to avoid any possible embarrassment. That's how my hairline from down there started receding, and actually I didn't complain, save for a bit of pain.

One night, bored online, I started clicking on different beauty videos (as you do), and I stumbled across one that explained what a Brazilian wax entails. Of course I had heard of those before but thought they were relegated somehow to those Certificate 18 industries and since pole dancing or a revisit of Debbie Does Dallas were never gonna be on my agenda, Brazilian was one wax strip too far for me. Anyway the description from that girl on the Youtube video made the technique sound terribly painful and – besides – unnecessary for a 'regular girl' like I.

For some reason, I still had the foresight (or insight!) to research the subject further as I was intrigued (or surely more bored than intrigued, right?). I found out that the Brazilian wax had been made popular in the USA, via NYC, by two Brazilian (who else?) beauticians back in the early 1980s. Please note that the Brazilian should not be confused with the Hollywood wax, the latter popularised in later years, leaves the skin completely smooth and bare! The Brazilian spares a teeny-weeny strip of modesty. Interestingly, and technicalities aside, I found out that it was possible to authentify the time period of a porn movie, based on the amount of hair on show down there... Erm, right, I shall leave this to the experts.

No pain, no gain, Nat!

Meanwhile a couple of weeks later down to my beauty salon on the off-chance to get my monthly leg and underarm wax, I was told that Jenny, my beautician, was fully booked up that day. I know I should have made an appointment, but instead I decided to nip down to the next salon and get that wax out of the way. I explained to the girl what I wanted and left it at that. She casually handed me a paper thong and when she saw my puzzled look, shrugged it off with "Oh, it's easier for me to work down there if you're wearing one of those..." Alarm bells should have started flashing in my head. Next I was lying on that couch, feeling exposed and awkward. She didn't blink an eyelid (eh, she had seen it all before!) and proceeded straight away with the bikini wax. When I felt the warm wax covering those neither regions I started to panic... "You wanted a bikini wax, didn't you?" She giggled and pulled that strip at the same time. Ooouch OMG! This had to be Karma sending me a reality check!

Now I have to admit that the result was good, great even, if you blank out the pain, because you can't expect it painless! When I came out of the salon, I noticed I was walking funny, like a cowboy who'd been riding his horse too long. I was chaffed down there for a few days, and thought I would never return to normal as some of the nerve endings were quite sensitive. But eventually everything went back to normal, and the hair even started growing back. And then I became kinda hooked. To that Brazilian wax. I felt clean and polished. No itching (except when the hairs start growing back, at the point where they break the skin). It made me feel strangely confident too. In the bathroom mirror, wearing my undies, I would have fun pretending to be a ballerina or cheerleader, extending a leg up and still look neat, wow!

Cheerleading my way to the bathroom mirror!

On that second time around I had to motivate myself to push that salon's door, but I came in prepared. I had taken a paracetamol beforehand, and arranged to wear comfy yoga pants. I was actually more apprehensive than on that first time when I had been taken unawares. Yet the pain was not as acute. It certainly isn't a pleasant experience, it won't feel like a pampering treatment, and in the heat of the moment you might rather be at the dentist's, trust me! If you are half-awake like I was on that early morning, the effect is that of a treble espresso X10... Never mind awake, you will feel wired for the rest of the day, but eh all for the good cause. You will look and feel great a few hours down the line, and that's a guarantee.

So much so that Brazilian waxing has now become part of my beauty regime. I might be preaching to the converted but if you are just wondering what the fuzz (sorry fuss!) is about, go for it! And you might even like it.

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